Remembering
by Azkabella
Summary: The Doctor pays a visit to an old friend and remembers those he's left behind. Spoilers for Journey's End.


Title: Remembering  
Author: itmustbetuesday  
Pairing/Characters: 10/Rose, Donna, Wilfred  
Rating: PG  
Warning: SPOILERS for season four finale and all that came before it.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, I make no profit, I only aim to ease the pain the BBC has inflicted upon my soul.  
Author Notes: This is my first Doctor Who fanfic. It shall not be my last. Comments are encouraged and highly, highly appreciated!

He'd been several months on his own, traveling, facing new dangers and meeting new people, but the loneliness remained. There'd been no one since Donna, and frankly the Doctor was wary of bringing anyone else onboard the TARDIS again after what happened. They'd only get left behind, and he'd have to move on. Alone.

The Doctor's curse was that he was a social creature who thrived on the presence of others; sharing experiences, having conversations, eating meals together. And yet the universe had decided that he was to be alone. And that was fine. Who was he to question the universe?

Yet he couldn't help but think of the ones he'd left behind. Several were off leading new lives and having their own adventures, and he was happy for them. He was glad that being with him had shown them a new way to live their lives. But his thoughts would stray to Donna and Rose, even though he often wouldn't allow himself to dwell on those two losses, he comforted himself in knowing that they were both alive and happy. He made himself miserable by knowing that they were happy without him.

Whenever he thought of Donna the Doctor would remember her grandfather's promise to look at the stars every night in her honor. He could see the man in his mind's eye, sitting at his telescope in his furry cap and coat, drinking tea from a thermos and feeling alone. He was the only one of the Nobles who felt what Donna had lost.

That's why the Doctor thought he ought to pay him a visit.

"Hello, Wilfred."

There was a cry of surprise and a clatter as the thermos fell to his feet. Wilfred Mott looked up from his telescope to find that the Doctor wasn't in the sky, but in his backyard.

"Doctor!"

The Doctor placed a finger to his lips and looked past Wilfred to the Nobles' house. The windows were dark and the house was far off, but it would be better to tread lightly. For Donna's sake.

"Doctor," Wilfred whispered. "I knew you'd come back."

They both grinned. The old man hopped from his chair and he and the Doctor shared a quick hug.

"How are you, Wilfred?"

"Oh," he replied with a wave. "I'm fine. Same old life, you know?"

"And Donna?"

Wilfred's eyes grew sad. "It's been hard seein' her, Doctor. After everything she'd been through with you, to return to who she was, no better for it…"

The Doctor bowed his head, his hands in his pockets. Wilfred Noble never did beat around the bush; he always jumped straight to the truth, even if it hurt.

"I know what happened to her wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't it?"

"Oh, don't blame yourself, Doctor. She knew what she was getting herself into, goin' with you. You made her happy."

The Doctor nodded, a sad smile creeping onto his lips. "We were happy."

"Why are you here, Doctor?" Wilfred asked, his eyes lighting up. "Did you find a way to bring her memories back?"

"No," the Doctor answered quickly. "Donna can never remember, not ever."

Her grandfather's shoulders slumped and he returned to his chair. "Still the same. I suppose it isn't healthy to hope."

"No," the Doctor said, crouching beside him. "No, it is. Hope can be a powerful thing. I think it's healthier to hope than to deny ourselves the comfort."

Wilfred fixed him with a penetrating stare.

"Then why have you given up hope, Doctor? You who need it the most?"

The Doctor looked at him in surprise before heaving a sigh and sitting alongside his friend on the grass. They sat together quietly before Wilfred broke the silence.

"That blonde girl, Rose…"

The Doctor grew tense. How did he know Rose?

"She saved mine and Sylvia's lives when those Dalek things had taken the Earth. She was with us when you were contacting all your friends, but she couldn't get through. I told Sylvia we should've gotten a webcam…"

The Doctor remembered seeing all his friends' faces on the screen, 'like an outer space Facebook' Donna had said. Whatever that meant. They were all there. 'Everyone but Rose.' He never thought she might be watching.

"She was pretty desperate, Doctor. Didn't need to see the look on her face when she saw you and Donna on our TV screen to know how she felt about you. But I never saw her again." Wilfred leaned towards him. "Did she find you, Doctor?"

"Yes."

"Yeah? Is she… did she make it?"

The Doctor gulped. "Yes."

"Then why isn't she with you? Don't tell me you didn't feel the same about her…"

"No, I did. I… I did."

"Good. 'Cause I felt for her, I did. Didn't need to be long with her to know that she was something special, like my Donna."

"Yeah."

The Doctor was staring hard into space, his thoughts and feelings light-years away. Wilfred could tell he'd hit a sore spot.

"My wife died ten years ago. Annie was her name. We were together almost forty years. After she was gone I felt incomplete and alone, even after I moved back in with my daughter and her husband. Being around them made me miss her even more."

The Doctor thought of Rose smiling at him in the TARDIS. He'd been so happy…

"You never said, Doctor."

He met Wilfred's eyes.

"Why are you here?"

The Doctor inhaled deeply. "I didn't want to be alone."

Wilfred reached out and patted the Doctor's hand, smiling sadly.

"Poor lad."

The Doctor smiled. He was over eight hundred years older than this man, but Wilfred Noble somehow managed to make him feel like a younger man. Few people could do that.

"You poor lad."

They spent the rest of the night watching the stars. The Doctor told him of his adventures with Donna, so they wouldn't all be forgotten, so that her grandfather would know what she's done. He'd heard most all of these stories from Donna before—she'd always stayed in good contact with her Gramps, but the Doctor liked remembering Donna, and Wilfred liked hearing about his granddaughter from someone who respected her so much.

"She comes and sits with me still," he told the Doctor. "She started doing that a lot after she'd met you the first time, even though I wasn't sure why at the time. She kept hoping she'd see you through my telescope. She still sits with me now, asks about the stars. I think a part of her is looking for you even now. I don't think she'll ever stop looking."

Wilfred fell asleep before the sun rose. The Doctor placed an extra blanket over him before leaving.

"Thank you."

He didn't know that he'd come back to visit Wilfred again, but the Doctor felt comforted by the thought that he was welcome to.


End file.
